you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize