Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
