i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
