Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
this hospital has no fireball
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
