She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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