Whod you bang
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
