like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
