honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
