I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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