Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
