youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
