I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
