Screwed.edu
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
