didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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