Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
