I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
