Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
