break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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