I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
