people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
