I'm gonna have a badass scar
This is not my ceiling
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
