the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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