remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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