After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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