I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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