Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

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(937): View more from Ohio

bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome

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(913): View more from Kansas

You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.

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(708): View more from Illinois

hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today

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(520): View more from Arizona

normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE

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(561): View more from Florida

Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.

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