Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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