you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
