I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my phone needs a breathalizer
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
