I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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