in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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