this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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