Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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