sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
