I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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