I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The cops high fived after they tackled you
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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