And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my shit smells like andre
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
