My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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