Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
