Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
