He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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