Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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