wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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