She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
