i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
