Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
