I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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