glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's blow job season.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
