In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sorry about my life...
I think people are normalizing furries
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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