He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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