so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
