Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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