i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
