I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sext me about skeletons
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
