Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
