no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
