just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize