I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
