Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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