3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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