I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize